No name

Every now and then I see a part of you I've never seen
Birds can swim and fish can fly
The road is long
I wonder why

One of these days you'll realize
What you mean to me
Ohh-hh, every now and then I see a part of you I've never seen

Every now and then I try to tell you just how I feel
Heavens talk, the rain begins, the sky turns black
Nobody wins
Well, I try to talk but I can't
My soul has turned to steel
This happens every now and then when I try to tell you just how I feel

So if you ever love somebody
You gotta keep them close
When you lose grip of their body
You'll be falling
'Cause I'm falling
Deeper in love
In love


A 19-year old, Ryan O'Shaughnessy auditioned for Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, David Walliams and Alesha Dixon on Saturday's Britain's Got Talent (March 31 2012) show with a love song he penned about a girl he has been in love for 6 years.

I Corinthians 13 (NIV)

 

¹³ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

In this giddiness & lightness of heart...

I'm not that far with falling in love with who you are,

I could get lost in this, forgetting what caution is...

subconsciously...

I am afraid to lose you
and
never feeling the rest of my whole life
the way I feel when I'm with you

I Like You

It's like a little piece of heaven
When you stay
You make me feel like it's all
Okay
And now I know that the sun
Will only shine
When the clouds go away
Cause that's how you make me feel
That's how you make me feel today

 

And you're like a little piece of candy
On my tongue
You're so much
Fun
And I flip like a butterfly
With one look in your eyes

That's how you make me feel
That's how you make me feel tonight

And I think I like you
And I think you like me too

 

Lets keep dreaming and wishing
This way
Grown ups don't take enough time
To play
Love, and so, it matters at the end of the day

That's how you make me feel
Thank you for making me feel this way

And I think I like you
And I think you like me too

So this is how being in love feels...

“Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded. just sick to your stomach, high one minute, low the next. Starving hungry but unable to eat. hot, cold, forever horny, full of hope and enthusiasm, with momentary depressions that wipe you out.

It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger.

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.” 

 

~ Jacky Colins, Lucky

3 years & more later...

Reading back my old posts and wondering if it was really all me.
Sounds like a different person, yet familiar.

Blogs are like a relic.

Soon it will be embracing the fate of writing letters or sending a card.

Who still read this ol' blog of mine? Give me a holler, if you do and out there.

Follow your instint.

Yesterday I learnt that I sometimes must follow or heed my instint or gut feel when come to doing something.
I knew what to do, but I doubt my own judgement. I worry about the consequences.

Points to note and lesson to learn from a forwarded email for a particular requested survey.

• Check credibility of the organisation that request the survey. Find out More!
• Check the sensitivy of information requested.
• Write a summary and propose action plan - organisation background, action taken, should we participate? etc etc

Boss beats me to it. He did all those things right after receiving the email.

Blogging again in 2010

I will try.
No promises.

I want too but sometimes I get carried away by other things :)

Yeah excuses.

Happy New Year, folks!

Locked out

I tried to access my blog today and realised that it has been locked out to public. I don't remember doing that. I wonder how did I blog that day? I don't remember that it was locked.

I must be getting really forgetful.

And gee, my blog is quite full of shit. Emo stuff. Urgh.

I wonder where is that part of me has gone? Never knew it was there now.

Welcome back to me.

Testing

Long time no post.

Just testing.

Today I met Dato Zaid Ibrahim.

He said I will be famous after this :)

A song for you

Here's a song for you who...
... cut and bleed for me
... hurt me with your words
... made empty promises
... love me


That's What Love Is For

Sometimes we make it harder than it is
We'll take a perfect night
And fill it up with words we don't mean
Dark sides best unseen
And we wonder why we're feeling this way.

Sometimes I wonder if we really feel the same
Why we can be unkind
Questioning the strongest of hearts
That's when we must start
Believing in the one thing that has gotten us this far.

That's what love is for
To help us through it
That's what love is for
Nothing else can do it.
Melt our defenses
Bring us back to our senses
Give us strength to try once more
Baby, that's what love is for.

Sometimes I see you
And you don't know I am there
And I'm washed away by emotions
I hold deep down inside
Getting stronger with time
It's living through the fire
And holding on we find

Believing in the one thing
That has gotten us this far
That's what love is for
To help us through it
That's what love is for
Nothing else can do it.
Round off the edges
Talk us down from the ledges
Give us strength to try once more
Baby, that's what love is for

That's what love is for
Melt our defenses
Bring us back to our senses
Give us strength to try once more
Baby, that's what love is for.
That's what love is for.

Thank you for the song

This is so beautiful and very touching. It just brighten up my day. Thank you once again.

For Baby

I'll walk in the rain by your side
I'll cling to the warmth of your hand
I'll do anything to keep you satisfied
I'll love you more than anybody can

And the wind will whisper your name to me
Little birds will sing along in time
Leaves will bow down when you walk by
And morning bells will chime

I'll be there when you're feelin down
To kiss away the fears if you cry
I'll share with you all the happiness I've found
A reflection of the love in your eyes

And I'll sing you the songs of the rainbow
A whisper of the joy that is mine
And leaves will bow down when you walk by
And morning bells will chime

I'll walk in the rain by your side
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand
I'll do anything to help you understand
And I'll love you more than anybody can

And the wind will whisper your name to me
Little birds will sing along in time
Leaves will bow down when you walk by
And morning bells will chime

Pondering on love

There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love.

I always lose.

The most painful life's battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul

In this I dwell in my fears and weakness.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime.

I wonder will it ever go away, or merely pass down from one lover to another?

Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

Dark Road

Sometimes we feel down. Sometimes we lose the direction in living. Sometimes we feel dejected and hopeless. Sometimes we see no hope. Sometimes we see meaningless everyday.

I wish I can tell you I know how badly it feels, how deep it cuts and how empty is being lonely. But the more I tell, the deeper it gets and I am afraid it will drown you.

Well, here is a song to let you know that I understand.

*** *** ***

It’s a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
That you’re never gonna find me there,
oh no I’ve got an open door
It didn’t get there by itself

There’s a feelin’
But you’re not feelin’ it at all
There’s a meaning
But you’re not listening anymore
I look at that open road
I’m gonna walk there by myself…

And if you catch me
I might try to run away
You know I can’t be there too long
And if you let me I might try to make you stay
Seems you never realize a good thing til it’s gone…

Maybe I’m still searchin’ but I don’t know what it means
All the fires of destruction are still burnin’ in my dreams
There’s no water that can wash away this longin’ to come clean…
Hey yea yea…

I can’t find the joy within my soul
It’s just sadness takin’ hold
I wanna come in from the cold
And make myself renewed again
It takes strength to live this way
The same old madness every day
I wanna kick these blues away
I wanna learn to live again

Hey hey hey
It’s a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
That you’re never gonna find me there,
oh no I’ve got an open door
It didn’t get there by itself

Lately is blue

Maybe it's because there is too much to do.
Maybe it's because of what's been happening around me.
Maybe it's because I have just been to a funeral of a good person.
Maybe it's because it is rather lonely and empty.
Maybe it's because I kept wondering why.
Maybe it's because I am not very healthy lately.

Maybe it's because I am just tired.

Maybe it's because of all the above, I am feeling a blue.

I wanna go away.

12th Malaysian Election (2008)

It is a new dawn in Malaysia.

It has never been so exciting in the history of Malaysia, it may be uncertain, but I got a good feeling that it is for the better. After all, it prevents us from getting complacent, ignorant and care less about what is going on in our country.

It is time to stop tolerating corruptions, ineffectiveness, poor governance and mediocre leaders.

Demand equality, justice, transparency and accountability. We have the rights to do so.

I shall watch in anticipation for the next 4 years.

From the movie Stardust

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "

~ Yvaine (Stardust)

The salt of life

From now on, this is my job description...
my ass, specifically.

Any aids?

Paintball

I am against war and violence. I dislike guns although I have toy guns with the sheriff badge when I growing up. When I see young kids, I will make the shape of guns with my fingers and pretend to shoot at them - "peow! peow!" Some love it, especially boys.

On Sunday I was invited by Asther and her friends to play Paintball at Kuang, somewhere a bit further than Sg Buloh. I didn't know what to expect and what to bring but I just knew that it is quite painful when the paint pellet hit you.

The bad news is true. It is painful. It bruised you and leave you with nasty blue blacks.

The good news is that it is actually very fun. It is like almost like a battlefield except that you won't get kill and each game only last about 15 minutes. If you don't feel well or your marker (the gun) don't work well, you can stop. Raise your hand and move away to safety zone.

Sorta like those war type of computer games too but on physical world. You get dirty, you have to crawl, you hide behind broken walls, trees, bunkers, you have to run and peek. Very physical. Very challenging.

Ifyou are serious about Paintball, there are strategies and planning involved, special markers and equipments and you can even dress up like a soldier. Very expensive sport, as always.

But for me, it is all about not getting shot (coz it is painful) and trying to bring down as many members of the opponents. I chose to hide in the bunker to defend our team's flag. Even that, I get shot.

Playing this game make me realise that it is really really ultra scary during an actual war. And you are actually sending yourself to death. If you don't die now, you'll die later. Now I know why soldiers are given awards after they returned from their postings. And why "purple hearts" when you were injured during war.

I never felt more female until I was being briefed before the game. I just find it repulsive to start killing people (although not literally or really killing) with a gun (although it is just a marker).

But during the game, it was actually nice to start shooting and bringing down your opponents. I actually enjoyed that. I was shot many many times but I only managed to bring down one opponent. Totally useless of me.

Some other players are really good. Their hands are steady when shooting. They move calmly. They seem to understand how to distract and move to protect themselves from being hit.

Now I also know how a seemingly nice and quiet person can go berserk when they are given the opportunity to kill or when they are engrossed with their computer games.

Very good stress reliever too. But if you someone that are full of anger and very bitter, I suggest not playing this coz you might hurt people and go overboard when you are too consumed.

Well, frankly I don't know much about Paintball, but what I wrote here are what I have observed.

I don't mind the pain and the bruises, but the only thing I dislike about the game is wearing the mask. It is very suffocating, hard to breathe and smell of smelly plastic.

Give it a try, at least once in your lifetime. Glad I went. Thanks Asther, Mike and Francis for taking me there. Thanks too for meal at Kanna. Love the banana rice dishes there. Yummy!