Banker - This is for you!

Hey Banker, I've been trying to call you on your phone but can't reach. Not sure where are you now but I am sure am thinking of you at this moment.

Your email and posting on the forum to all of us really touched my heart. It was both sad and funny.

Just wanna let you know that it has been great knowing you. Err... Do you read my blog? Most prolly not or never. Anyway, although I have not known you for years but merely months, but I feel that you have been one of the greatest friends I have made. I really appreciate your friendship.

Remember these times?

...when we can't pee pee coz we are laughing so hard at each other. Oops. No, we are at different cubicles and at total privacy from each other.

...those senseless yet logical fictions we created during our trip to Melaka. LOL!

...sharing our favourite tv serie, not going to mention the name. *wink*wink* I have the remaining episodes for you.

...I am glad you convinced me to go for rafting. That was cool. Err, I did not save you :)

...where you knew exactly what I was saying without me stating the obvious when everyone else don't know.

...texting each other across the table. I'm still puzzled why we did that! We could've talk but it was funny nevertheless :P

I will cherish all these happy and crazy moments we have shared. They will always make me smile. Inside, it is kinda sad to see you leave but it is true, you will not be far. You are only 4 hours drive away from all of us here. And knowing that you will be with Mrs Banker, I know you will be very happy. I wish you all the very best in your future undertakings. I will miss you. And I hope that we will always be good friends.

Oh well, now I have a reason to visit Singapore which I never really like. And I am looking forward to meet Mrs Banker and Banker Jr.

Delphinus, get your passport!!! This is an order. We are visiting Mr & Mrs Banker and Banker Jr soon! And while we are there, I can visit my two dearest CP - one is my sis and one is my childhood best friend.

Please...

Note to self...

MUST always remember to say "Please" whenever and each time I want something or need a help from someone else.

Urgh...I am a still a human prototype.

Bits of Emotions 2

what's inside
only me to know
not will anyone
don't assume
don't decide
don't tell me
let it silently
lies within me
~ k*a

*** *** ***

I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
~ Calling all Angels by Train

*** *** ***

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize

I'll close my eyes and then I won't see
The love you do not feel, when you're holding me
Morning will come, and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then, to give up this fight

*** *** ***

Think for a while...
If you were in a rowboat and wanted to move forward, which would better? The right oar or the left oar? You actually need both, because if you use only one oar, you will go in circles. But when both oars are working together in harmony, they will get you to the shore.

*** *** ***

The little conversations
If I tried my very best
You know I never could say anything
In twenty words or less.
Somewhere, sometime, down the line
Someday I may confess,
And spill it all. that’s all

The little conversations
On me are very rough
They leave me all in pieces
You know there’s never time enough
Like a book with missing pages
Like a story incomplete
Like a painting left unfinished
It feels like not enough to eat.
Starvin’

These little conversations
Well for me they’ll never do
Now what am I supposed to do with
Broken sentences of you?
I’ll stay in my corner `cause
That’s all that I can do
And let the others speak for me.
Little conversations
Are we.
~ Little Conversations by Concrete Blonde

Jungle trekking

After thinking really hard on what I want to do to expel this boredom, I came up with this brilliant idea - I want to go jungle trekking! Yeap, at least now I am a bit excited thinking of it. Woo hoo!

After experience the beautiful green jungle surounding Sg Itik in Gopeng last Saturday, I think I would like to go trekking. I think starting with the trek in FRIM will be nice. I heard they even have a canopy walkway, which was used for some trees research. It will be good to build my stamina, which I was told recently to build up, if I wanna dive in Layang-Layang next month.

Talking bout that, I have yet to start any form of exercise. I did wake up at 6.30 this morning with the aspiration to jog or walk in the park. But with an excuse of the nagging migraine from the past 2 days, I peeped at the park through my window and see people are already performing all kind of exercises, then I went back to sleep.

Ok, the number one to do list for the next 3 weeks, is to exercise to improve leg strength and stamina. Err...any idea how to start and what to do?

Surge of Idleness attacked me today

Idling can make your mind blunt. Dull. Bland.

Inside me, I am feeling I wanna run away from here, to somewhere exotic and foreign to me, or to do something dangerous, where my mind can be sharp, where my soul can be free and where I can be challenged.

In the ho hum of dullness, it is actually piercingly painful in the stomach. I kinda have anxiety attack when I think how stuck I am in this dullness.

No matter how many podcasts I listened to, from travels, to comedy, even latest hits music podcast and learning French via podcast, I am still bored.

I aimlessly surf the net, punching meaningless keywords for the sake of seeing a new webpage being loaded.

I read blogs, but not everyone is free to blog all the time. Same posts, the day before, yesterday, this morning, this afternoon, just now and now.

Online friends on messenger are either marked Away or Busy or Idle. Thank goodness for the little chats here and there.

Linkin Park, Tiesto, Matchbox Twenty, French chanteurs, Katie Melua, jazzy Sergio Mendes and what not mp3s in my iTunes barely able to erase the blandness.

I actually feel like a barren land. A plain where rain has not fallen in months, and, plants are yellowing and dying, and the animals are slowing leaving.

Bear with me. I apologise for whining. I am so darn bored. You have no idea how it feels.

Ciggies and coffee

I dislike people smoking in toilets. Dislike is too mild a word. I hate it very much. Already stuck in a toilet cubicle, it is totally uncomfortable to be choked with cigarrette smokes. There are a few culprits from the next door offices that often smoke in the common toilet of our office floor.

On Sunday, I noticed something about myself. Although I am allergic to alcohol but I consume more alcohol than I drink coffee or coca-cola. I can't even remember how coffee taste like but I can remember how it smell like. The only coffee I have ever tasted are from tiramisu or mocha cakes. Grandma used to say I made really good coffee, which I often made in the mornings for her in a big pot and a flask, which she would consumed the entire day. B complimented that I made really nice nescafe too.

White water rafting experience

Urgh! Had a migraine the entire day. Perhaps the air-cond from last nite caused it. Or maybe I was dehydrated from Sat. Had 4 panadols and it is still here, bugging the hell outta me.

Yesterday, I went white water rafting at Sungai Itik in Gopeng, Perak with some friends and strangers. It took Banker one week to convince me to go for it. I told Chippie about it and he immediately said yes to go. I wish I had that kind of enthuasiasm. Delphinus was there too, but wasn't rafting due to her recovering back. She was talking photos, reading, chatting and chilling by the riverside.

Some of the people in the group and Chippie opted for hydrospeed where you hang on to a body board and river surf all the way down the river. Yes, all over the rocks and cold water. It seemed really scary but much more exciting than white water rafting. Me? I was happy to be rafting on a raft cushioned with air where I could hide in the belly of the raft if anything went wrong.

It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I was expecting fast gushing foaming white water on rocky river going downhill. I was expecting it to be extremely rapid swooshing bumpy ride all the way down the river. But it wasn't that bad either. Just some bumps and rocky rides here and there to churn a little adrenaline inside, but it was quite easy. That was because the guides on the front and back of the raft were doing all the hard work to get us through the rapids and bumps. They even had to get us and the raft moving when we are stuck on the rocks. Plus, the river we went to, are just right and safe for amateurs and beginners like me.

They gave us instructions to row forward and backwards, to move to the front, back, left and right of the raft. My group comprised of 2 guides, Banker, Javana, Matt1972 and me. I think we are the most serious group coz we concentrated so hard and follow every single instruction so carefully, unlike the other groups that are laughing and happily splashing water at each other. None the less, we were very satisfied and happy.

One bit I found irritating was that we constantly have to stop and wait for our turns as the other rafts had get through some rocky rapids before we could. So after bracing one exciting rapids, we have to wait a while. I guess if there wasn't a lot of rafts, we would have moved all the way down without stopping.

And I got a bit darker again. I tanned so easily. There is a two skin tone now on arms and legs. Even marks of my Teva on my feet. Darn!

What I like most was the scenery. The little jungle surounding the river was totally beautiful and tranquil. The scenery was beautiful as we were rafting down the river. Even the drive towards Gopeng was excellent with views of nice limestone mountains and green jungles along the highway.

I am glad I went for it. It was interesting to do something different, something I thought I won't do coz I am a little chicken inside. If I am a little braver, I might even try hydrospeed. But looking at Chippie's bruises and Wendy's twisted wrist, I will need a lot of courage.

I will post some pix once I gotten them from Delphinus.

End of work on Friday

It is the Friday again...Yahoo!

I am looking forward to another weekend where I don't have to go to work for 2 days, where I can look forward to do something else besides staring at my notebook and pretend to be working hard.

But on the other hand, I can't imagine not working too. What am I gonna do if I don't go to work? Everyone else will be working and I will be alone doing nothing, staying home, walking the malls alone, err... that will be darn boring too.

And of course, the monthly income. Not much for definitely much needed for daily survival and to pay for my hobbies.

So, it is good to be able to go to work everyday though I don't have a very important job. I should be thankful and grateful. I am, very.

I better stop rambling. It is my idling mind talking.

Today's Random News

#1
Can't sleep last nite. Arrghh! I hope my insomniac self is not back. Maybe because of eventful Tuesday. Already can't sleep, got a late nite phone call. Darn!

#2
Feeling very "Bleh!" today. Empty. SIEN! Bored. Like PMS but definitely not. Can I blame on Tuesday, again? Or maybe I didn't sleep well last nite?

#3
Was feeling very demotivated to go diving at Layang-Layang next month until I saw the Layang-Layang Resort website. Then I found out from Asther's and Layang-Layang Blues blogs that Hammerheads were spotted daily for the past few days. Even Mantas too. Now I wish I was there right at this very moment. Hope they will all still be around when I am there in 1 mth time.

#4
Double arrghh! Got queried by a close friend for being MIA from church. I have been obviously busy the past few weeks - CNY, Mataking, Shanghai, Redang, F1 and all. Don't you wish you have a life like mine? No!

#5
Tonite, I am toasting myself black. After work, I will be heading to my yoga class which I have been missing the past 2 weeks due to Redang and Lionel Ritchie's concert. Right after yoga, I am going to a welcome back dinner for a friend and then I am going to watch Underworld 2 alone. Hope it is not that scary.

#6
Saw two different kids at two different locations in two different superheros costumes within 12 hours. One was Batman and the other Spiderman. Thought that was quite a nice co-incidence.

#7
I want to eat Tai Thong egg tart. Very nice. I want to eat Brickfield's goreng pisang.

#8
I want to buy a river sandal. Teva. Design inspired by Jesus Christ's shoes. Also, I want to buy a BCD, a complete reg set and a digital camera.

Oh well, that's all for now. k*a signing out for now.

Delphinus' Big Day Today

Dearest Delphinus a.k.a Kaiserin,

Because you mean so very much,
you're wished a birthday filled
with all the beauty a day can bring,
all the love a heart can hold,
all the happiness you so deserve.

Happy Happy Birthday to you with lotsa love!

Hugs, krazie*angel

Latest addition to our family

This cute sweetheart is the new member to the family. Meet Dylan, my 15 days old nephew as of today. These photos are taken by his daddy when he was 1 week old. Isn't he adorable?

Welcome to this world, Dylan. Love and hugs from me!

A dedication to my distant aunt

She was always bubbly, full of laughter and ever so chatty. She was always in bright red dress and with red lipstick during Chinese New Year.

She would welcome me and my friends whenever I brought them to visit her home, which is the famous long antique house along Jonker Street. She gladly gave us the grand tour of her home, explaining details of the home, including the history.

I love talking to her. She never failed to ask me the two big questions each time she saw me. And we will always joke about that.

The first time I met her was during her wedding, many many years ago, when I was still in school. She was getting married to my mom's cousin.

The last time I met her was in a hospital, about 2 years ago. She was ill but her spirit was high.

She was dearly known as Ling. She was my distant aunt. She passed away yesterday. But I am sure she is in a better place now, where pain ceased and peace and happiness reigns.

To the family, my deepest condolences. I am so sorry for your loss.

To Auntie Ling, you will be dearly missed, especially during Chinese New Year. The long big house will never be the same without you again.

Tiesto

I was bad to always connect Trance/House music to Ah Bengs and Ah Lians. Head banging or drugs like X or Ice. Don't mean to make fun of anyone, ok? Just me and my perception. My bad. So I am one of those boring people who don't understand this kind of music. Yes, I probably rather listen to Michael Jackson than DJ Tiesto's concoction if you were to ask me 2 weeks ago.

A couple weeks ago, a friend who is a big, or rather a huge fan of Dj Tiesto was so excited when he saw a bunting along the road next to Beach Club that said DJ Tiesto is coming to town. Can't see when or where coz we passed by the buntings really fast. I went online and checked. It was the Pit Party during the F1 race. He convinced another friend and me to go for the party.

Not knowing who the heck is Tiesto and his genre of music, I got my colleague to download all Tiesto's music. At first, all I hear was repeatitive beats and after a few times of listening to them, it kinda grow into me. I like the rhythm and the repetitiveness, it sorta swallow you into a floating realm. So I got my colleague to download DJ Sammy's music too. So there is Ah Lianness in me too :)

On Sat, after F1, a swim and super yummy dinner cooked personally by the huge fan of DJ Tiesto for the three of us, we headed to the huge limousine taxi carpark in Sepang which has transformed to a huge rave party. Man, I have never seen so many young people in my whole life. I have never seen so many sexy people walking around in almost nothing...oh well, I am exagerating, but they do wear extremely sexy. Made me wonder where are these people during broad daylight on a normal day? I have never known that DJ Tiesto is so popular.

That nite, after a few beer, which I am not supposed to consume at all, by the rules of my religion :P and by the restriction of my health, I was pretty excited. Gee, in brief, I had never danced or party that hard since I was 18? I was happy and I feel good. Delphinus was there and I was even happier to have her company. Then we both spotted Shaolin Tiger, whose blog we read daily. How cool is that?

Ahh...I just can't believe I was partying like that at this age. Oh well, we all went home at 1pm, just when the party got really exciting and fun, coz we were too tired. Delphinus continued to party on, in search of the sunrise with Tiesto. Age really is catching up, whether we like it or not. And I am red and itchy - darn the alcohol.

First time @ F1

Before the race begins. Everyone in anticipation.

It was the 8th time Malaysia has hosted the F1 race and this is my first time I went to watch one. Reasons for not watching? Never like the sport, never like the sun, can't justify paying that much to watch and it is shown free on TV.

It was hot, so darn hot and I was sweating all the time. On both days - Sat and Sun. And the seats are dirty. Oh well, I better stop complaining and be grateful instead, coz I got the tix free. I was very fortunate as I was on the Grand Stand, facing the pit stops and under the shade.

Everything sold there were expensive. Food was expensive. One true example - a hotdog with bun cost RM15. Hell. Next example, I can't imagine buying a shirt with all the companies' logos that cost RM560. We the buyers, are advertising for them, aren't we? And we pay them to advertise for them. Smart marketing strategy.

Although I don't have any favourite team, but you can ask me who I think is the cutest F1 driver. Same reason why I watch football. A friend commented that I am shallow. Yes, that I am. But the egotistical me decided to throw some trivias on F1 to defend that I am not shallow at all. Guess the more I do that, the shallower I get :P

Oh yes, it is deafening to be there each time the cars passed through. I am impressed with my roomate in Uni who does not need any ear plugs at all.

Fans in train after the race. How loyal!

Scruffilly charming

Ahh...a secret compliment for Myster Rious. Still like the usual scruffy self, but somehow, in that shirt, with a faint silhouette of a her, and pair of jeans...brings out a charm, that long forgotten and gone unnoticed.

It was very relaxing, casual and somewhat, appealing. Forget ironing, it doesn't really matter.

That nite, the good look was noticed. Head turned. Mind thought twice. Smile formed. No showing off at all, but just naturally charming without anyone being aware that one is being noticed and the other noticed.

Funny how one appears that way once in a while and take another's breath away.

Or the other person simply never make the effort to notice.

Or one no longer able to observe the beauty of the other once it is always there.

Peanut Butter Cup

The classic REESE'S -The perfect combination of creamy peanut butter in a rich milk chocolate cup that no one can resist.

A classmate of mine brought a pack of the above to class yesterday to celebrate another classmate's birthday. I ate one of them and I really like it. It is so yummy. She bought it from a sundry shop from Ampang. I would love to get some for myself again.

If you ever see this around, do try it and please save some for me :)

Good bye, Mini. I am so sorry.

I can't sleep. I am so upset and sad. I feel awful :S :(

One of the fishies died, the smallest of the 4. I'm so sorry, Mini.

I came home from a wonderful dinner with friends, feeling upbeat and happy. As usual, I will go take a look fishies as soon as I walk into my home. My heart dropped to the floor when I saw the littlest one is floating, lifeless, on the surface of the water. I stood there, frozen for a moment, feeling really awful.

I really can't bear it when I had to scoop it up from the water. Its eyes were white in colour and seemed like they are shut. Its belly was black in colour. The whole scenario was too sad and I could feel my body weakening. It is sad when I had to put it in a plastic bag and throw it away. Now late Mini is in my rubbish bag :(

It is only a fish, right? And it is not even mine. I just realised how weak I am that I can't even handle such a death, which may seem trivial and insignificant to many others. I felt irresponsible that I can even pet sit rightly. Will the other fishies be ok? Will they survive till they are back at their home again.

I haven't told the owner yet. I feel so guilty. I am so sorry.

Bits of Emotions

When you’re driving with the brakes on
When you’re swimming with your boots on,
It’s hard to say you love someone
And it’s hard to say you don’t

~ Driving With The Brakes On by Del Amitri


Raise your head up
Lift high the load
Take strength from those that need you
Build high the walls
Build strong the beams
A new life is waiting
But danger’s no stranger here

No words describe a mother’s tears
No words can heal a broken heart
A dream is gone, but where there’s hope

Somewhere something is calling for you
Put your faith in what you most believe in
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart
Let fate decide
To guide these lives we see

~ Two Worlds by Phil Colins


What would you do if I could have you?
Oh if I could
I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?

And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you

~ One of These Days by Michelle Branch


What you thought was real in life, has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find where you belong

I know you feel helpless now, I know you feel alone
That’s the same road, and the same road that I’m on, Yeah

~ The Road I'm On by Three Doors Down

Gossip vs Flattery

A good definition of gossip and flattery is this: Gossip is saying behind a person's back what you would never say to his or her face. Flattery is saying to a person's face what you would never say behind his or her back.

Captain Pilot Uniform for bidding!

Was listening to a podcast and found out that Ebay recently pulled a listing that a Delta Air Lines Captain had placed on the auction site.

Up for sale? Captain Wendall Lewis's Captain's uniform.

After Lewis saw his monthly pension of $6500 slashed by 73%, he decided to make a statement, which I think is very profound and poignant.

And here was his statement:


AUTHENTIC Delta Air Lines Captain Pilot Uniform This uniform was worn by a dedicated Delta Pilot for many years. Now retired and robbed of part, or all, of promised pension, uniform is now offered for sale to supplement income. Suit is worn and empty but filled with memories and honor. Suit has been across many miles and many experiences. Suit was once filled with pride and service getting thousands of passengers to their destination safely. Suit has been through rain, snow, ice, and wind without a single tear or scratch. Suit once controlled multi-million dollar assets, flown throughout the world, with billions of dollars of liability to the company. Suit has never cost company one (1) cent in accident or injury.

Although the suit is worn and has been discarded by the company, it can be yours. Suit is clean but used. Coat may be soiled from hydraulic fluid or grease as plane was inspected. Shirt may be soiled from mad dashes through the airport in a rush to the next plane in an effort to get back on schedule. Tie may have stains from fast food meals that were hurriedly eaten while at the controls.

Tie comes with your choice of pins, Air Line Pilots Association, Air Force, or Airplane. Pants may show signs of wear from may hours spent strapped into a seat, hip shows some signs of wear from firearm used to protect you and your passengers from harm. Shoes are shiny but worn. Suit comes with choice of Old Delta or New Delta emblems. Many prefer the Old Delta.

Suit is thought by many to have APHRODISIAC qualities, although this cannot be confirmed or denied.

BEWARE putting on this suit can have adverse effects on your life. It can cause you to miss your childrens' birth. It can cause you to miss holiday reunions, family times, and weekends. You may miss your Daughter's prom and your Son's graduation. Your family may think Christmas is not always on December 25th. Your wife will have to learn to be a single parent when you are gone for days. The suit can cause you to miss entire nights of sleep or get up at 3 AM to meet your next schedule. Your neighbors may be jealous of you and think you do not deserve to wear the uniform or be compensated for your work.

Originally suit required a four year college degree and an internship of 5-10 years in the military, and another 10-15 years for the fourth stripe. Suit comes with a promise of a pension if you provide years of dedication and service. THE PROMISE MAY BE AS EMPTY AS THE SUIT. Now it can be had for the highest bid. Good Luck bidding.


Bidding started at $1.00.

Falling For You

Said there'd be no going back
Promised myself I'd never be that sad
Maybe that's why you've come along
To show me, it's not always bad

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

It's true I've become a skeptic
How many couples really love
Just wish I had a crystal ball
To show me, if it's worth it all

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

And I've got to be sure
Coz it's been so long
And I cannot take the pain again
If it all goes wrong

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

I want you so much
I need you so much
I want you so much
I need you so much
[believe me my love
believe me my love]

by Jem

Ponder on this...

If you were in a rowboat and wanted to move forward, which would better? The right oar or the left oar? You actually need both, because if you use only one oar, you will go in circles. But when both oars are working together in harmony, they will get you to the shore.

From highway with love

Took this photo as we (Delphinus a.k.a Kaiserin, Sherine, Banker and me) were cruising down the North South Highway from Melaka back to KL. Banker and Sherine were sleeping soundly behind. I was trying to stay awake by meddling with Delphi's camera while she was driving. I must admit, right after this, I fell asleep.

You can see me vaguely in the relection. That's the mysterious me ;)

We had so much fun in Melaka. The main objective to go there was to eat the famous Chicken Rice Ball that is only available authentically from Melaka, my hot hometown. And yes, we ate so much and we ate twice. Once for breakfast and once for tea.

I wasn't aware yet that avian flu has attacked Malaysia then.

Most time, we talked shite and most time, they are crap, but we managed to weave a complete and reasonably logical story that can almost seem real. It was funny and I had never laughed so much for so long.

Food finished.

Fish food are all gone now. Finished.

Poor fishies must be so hungry. I dare not go near them coz I don't want to excite them and give them nothing. I should have foresee that.

I guess they can last a day or two without food until I buy them new food. They lasted for a few days when I was away. And I hope they will hang in day for now.