Friday, September 09, 2005

A lonely Friday nite

It's a Friday nite. And I am all alone at home, to be precise, in my room - a place of safe solace yet sometime, seems like my own prison.

Mom had gone back to stay with my bro and hopefully, will be back again to stay with me next week. It is weird that I kinda miss her presence although I barely had much time to spend with her when she was staying me for the past one week.

I've got no plans, no dates, no dinners, no partyings, no nothing. I am so lonely and bored. What do people do on a Friday nite? I bet most people are out there or with somebody. Frankly, it is unhealthy for me to be alone at this moment with how I am feeling. I have no mood for anything at the moment.

I have so commitedly attended my stupid F language classes in the evenings altho I have very little interest in learning it now because it kept my evening occupied and it made me tired, so that my mind won't wanders to crazy land.

I wished I can drink, alcohol, that is. It always make me high and sleepy, just the state of mind I need to be in at the moment. But, drinking always make me itch. I am so allergic to alcohol. I don't drink for a long long time coz the itch are really bad. I can't stand the itch.

I drank last nite, 2 cans of Carlsberg and they got me a bit happy and chirpy. So, I decided to live life a bit dangerously. I drove around KL and without my license. Considered me lucky or unlucky that no souls would come near me, I was safe. I itched a little but this morning, I had a pain on my back and I found that my kidney was infected when I went to the doctor. I had some problem for the past one week but never bother to do anything, so I guess drinking trigger it. And I barely drink any water at work yesterday. It all add up. So, no drinking, even little sips, for now.

Right now, in my own little world, the only thing that is keeping me company and sane is blogging and reading other people's blog.

I guess I am going to fall asleep next to my warm iBook again. I wish it is bman instead.

I hate to think if my tomorrow, next day, next next day and so on will be as lonely as yesterday, today and many nights before. I hate being alone and I never really gotten used to it either, just like traffic jam.

krazie*angel is down emotionally... give hugz please

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