Thursday, September 22, 2005

What I am up to...

I am back again.

Since last Thursday till last Sunday, I was away for my diving trip at Lang Temgah. I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. I guess it was the highlight of my life currently amidst the roller coaster emotional trip that I have been riding through lately. Plus I saw whale shark. This is like so rare, a chance of a lifetime. I got a photo of Mr Whale Shark as my wallpaper. He is lovely. The funny thing is that, I only realised how significant the moment was until I was home.

I couldn't write on Monday coz I was really upset, well, more like, devastated by a news I received. I couldn't handle it for the next 48 hours. But I am stable now, although, I am still hurting and sad. I am thankful for my family, they were there for me all the time, making sure I am ok. I might sound ungrateful, but despite all the love I have been receiving from my family, there is an emptiness that can't be filled and a despair in me that can't be removed by them.

So, I was on MC on Tuesday and Wednesday (yesterday). I had bad headache + migraine, or whatever you wanna call it. I just felt like shit. This doctor was smart, he detected that I was feeling more than the headache + migraine. He talked and digged, well, he did made me talk about how I am feeling. He gave me a long lecture and I knew them all too well, but how come, my mind and heart felt like shunning them all away.

Right now, I can't sleep, as usual. My mind is so messy yet fuzzy. Doctor prescribed me some sleeping tablets but I did not take it. I am afraid I am dependent on them. And I am sneezing and having running nose. I hope I am not falling ill.

I missed my F language classes this week and I had test yesterday. I really have no mood to attend them. Suddenly, learning French is pointless. What for? Why do I have to torture myself to learn a language that I can barely speak even after I have been learning it for a year. I have decided to take it easy. Learning for the sake of fun, and not for the sake of the need to acquiring or achieving targets.

I went to see the Maltese puppy this afternoon at the pet shop. She was gone already. Someone bought her, I guess. Her cage is now occupied by a Pekingnese. I had no interest in it. I went home feeling sad for losing the cute Maltese puppy, altho' I had never own it, but saw only once. Well, she is better off with a loving owner than being caged there.

Oh yeah, a fellow diver recommended me this singer, James Blunt. He said I will like him. I checked out his website and some song clips of his, and yes, I do like his songs. His lyrics are good. So, friends, check James Blunt out too. His album is called Back to Bedlam.

krazie*angel loves both the tracks of "Goodbye My Lover" & "Rain & Tears" of James Blunt. Nice lyrics.


chinoz said...

Hiya Krazie

Mike sent me the lyrics once. Loved the chorus, which goes:

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Krazie, you're just as beautiful, if not more so.


krazie*angel said...

Thanks Agnes! I really think I am ugly :( but who cares anyway.